Once bitten

This simple family story is probably more common than I realize but so sweet I had to share.

My boys were quite the pair when they were little. Jake was such a good big brother always kind and protective, and making sure that everything was right for his little brother.

Justin was very strong willed and a little bully to his big brother who cared so much. They would be playing with their giant building blocks and Jake would come in to me crying with bite marks from Justin upset because his little brother hurt him again. I didn't just let it go either, I would punish Justin, I would discuss it with him and tell him what he did wrong and put him in time out. Sometimes if I caught him in the act I would give him a swat on the bottom and tell him again that biting was bad. Sometimes when he was having a temper tantrum he would bite me or his dad.

It continued with poor Jake getting bitten, me feeling horrible and Justin getting punished until one day while making supper I finally took some advice that I had heard from many different people.

Jake came to me crying with a bite mark on his arm and without stopping from washing the dishes I said why don't you just go bite him back. Jake said "No! Mom biting is bad I'll get in trouble and it hurts."

"I know," I said, "that's the point." Then I tried to make the little protector understand just why I was telling him to injure his little brother. "You can bite him back just this once, not enough to take a chunk out of him, just enough to let him know that it hurts, maybe then he will stop."

Off Jake went on his mission while I continued to wash the dishes.

A few seconds later Justin was screaming, an alarming scream, so I ran into the living room to see what was going on. He was crying, screaming and holding his forehead with both hands. Jake looked so sad he came running to me right away. "Mom I bit him, I just closed my eyes and leaned forward and bit him."

It was all I could do not to laugh. "You closed your eyes?"

"Yeah, and I bit him on the nose." he said with tears starting to form in his eyes.

"But why did you close your eyes?" I said while seating myself onto the couch, reaching out for Justin's crying little form and scooping him up into my lap.

"I didn't want to do it, so I just closed my eyes like taking medicine and did it." Jake said.

"It's okay Jake, your not in trouble I told you to do it."

"Justin, this is why we don't bite, it hurts and it is not nice." I said for what seemed to be the thousandth time. But, this time was different, this time he was on the receiving end and not the giving. I cuddled him for a second, wiped his tears and moved his hands to see a perfect little set of front teeth bite marks, top and bottom, right above his nose between his eyebrows.

Needless to say, Justin never bit anyone again. He is 17 now and he still has a small scar right between his eyebrows from a lesson well learned.

I'm in no way advocating harming a child ever, in any way but this story had to be told. I still giggle thinking about it. It was just to cute not to share.

Do you have or have had a biter? What did you do? I'd love to hear.

The Moment I Knew

Call it the romantic in me but this is one of my favorite memories.

Jim and I were dating and it was January in Michigan. He drove a brand new 4-wheel drive red Chevy truck. He had just traded his one year old black truck for the next year model a couple of weeks before.

He picked me up at the apartment where I was staying and we were just cruising around on the back roads that were very snowy and talking. All the sudden he looks at me and smiles the kinda grin someone has when they are about to be mischievous says "Let's just see what this thing can do." Then he pulls the steering wheel to the right and drives into the ditch.

I was shocked and worried. The ditches in Michigan can be huge, some of them you can drive down into and no one would even know you were there if they didn't look. They are that big. I held on wondering just what would happen next.

We made it a quarter mile or so and got stuck as he was trying to get back up to the road.

It would not have been unusual to me if he would have gotten angry, mean, began cursing and acting like a jerk. I was used to guys who did stupid things and then got mean when they backfired.

Not Jim, he looked over at me and laughed.

He shook his head laughing and said "Would you mind leaning forward?" I leaned forward and he reached behind the seat and grabbed a shovel. "Well, now we know what she can handle" he said, still with laughter lingering on his voice. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll have us out of here in no time." Then he leaped out of the cab and sank in the snow up to his thighs.

That moment, when he chose to be cheerful and playful in acknowledging the foolishness of his actions and happily accepting the consequences, that was when I knew he was the man for me.

I can honestly say, I've never, not once regretted that decision. After 20 years of marriage I only love him and his craziness even more.

The Shy One

I think every family has at least one.

Ours was the youngest and yes, I said was. "Was" because she has since out grown most of most
her shyness.

Let me give you an idea just how shy this little girl, the baby of four children really was.

She was the baby at the market that people would ooohh and aaahhhh over and she would bury her face in my chest to hide, or later when she was a toddler she would wrap her arms around my leg and bury her face in my leg and hide.

Now don't think that she was shy because we never went out, that is so not the case, she was shy in spite of the fact that her momma was a social butterfly. We were very active since she was born. We went to church every Sunday and Wednesday and Monday morning for MOPS, I was a cub scout and a 4-H leader since she was born so she went with us to meetings and such. Plus, she was born during the time that I was homeschooling the boys and we were active in a homeschool group and she went to all the field trips, activities and meetings for that also. My husband used to joke that I worked harder volunteering during that time than I had worked at work getting paid. Her shyness was a personality trait from the start not a taught or learned trait.

She was the last to be at home with me. Just me and her after everyone else had gotten on the bus and went to school. Yes, they did decide with a little urging from mom that it was time to go back to public school when she was three. I loved it. A little alone time with my baby. But, she yearned to be a big girl, ride the big bus and go to school like her siblings.

Our small town had a half day preschool program so we enrolled her as soon as she was old enough. My little shy girl started school when she was 3.75 yrs old. She went the entire year and never once spoke a word to the teacher or the assistant teacher. Part of the requirement was for me to go and be an active helper and I loved going in and playing with the kids. It really was just a play time that had a story time and lunch and got them used to the idea of being with other kids and being at school with a schedule. She did play with the other kids and did great, she just wouldn't look or speak to the teachers.

She went to Kindergarten the next year at 4.75 years old and had the same problems, she was smart at home and was learning, but would not deal with the adult "strangers" at school. This was a huge issue with her learning. So, she struggled. I'll never forget the day about half way through her kindergarten year that a very happy teacher shared that my daughter had come up to her desk and tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention and then spoke to her. She then continued to speak to her the rest of the year. She was still very shy with anyone else. But her teacher and I were so excited that she finally spoke to a teacher it was a breakthrough.

Our move to Texas and being in a brand new place, at a brand new school was a large push to get over it. I say only most because we did try to go door to door to sell for her school fundraiser this year and only made it to one house across the street and she was done.

Ginger

Today I stopped in my tracks while getting dinner ready to marvel at my 14 year old dog laying in the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room all sprawled out on her side in the doorway and paying me absolutely no heed what-so-ever as I walked back and forth from the kitchen to the table stepping over her each time. She opened her eyes the first time and then she must have realized that I was setting the table because then she just went right back to sleep as I carefully crossed over her.

Finally after the table was set and while my eldest son was

watching the dinner for me and chopping some cheese, I sat down with her there in the middle of the floor between the kitchen and dining room and just gave her a few minutes of my time petting her and let her know how much I appreciate her complete and utter trust.

I have the same trust in her, knowing that even though she loves everyone she meets, she still gets angry when I get angry and she doesn't like anyone to get hit around her even if they are playing. She makes me feel safe and I am glad that I in turn make her feel safe also.

Do you have a pet that trusts you and has your trust? Leave me a comment and let me know. Thanks for dropping by.